“Should I Give Up on Mainstream Schooling?”

By Brendan Jamieson | The Guided Path

Let’s be real for a moment. If you’ve landed on this blog post, it’s probably because things are not going smoothly. Maybe your child is refusing school. Maybe every morning feels like a battlefield. Maybe you’re exhausted from fighting for supports, and now you're wondering...

“Should we just give up on mainstream school?”

And that’s a completely valid question.

It’s one I hear almost every day from the families that come to me for support.

But before you make any big decisions—especially ones being pushed online like “just homeschool” or “pull them out now”—I want to offer a grounded, compassionate perspective.

Because here’s the truth:

There is still hope for mainstream schooling. And you don’t have to walk this path alone.

🧠 Let’s Start with Why This Feels So Hard

For many neurodivergent children—those with ADHD, autism, anxiety, or trauma histories—mainstream school can feel overwhelming or even unsafe.

You might see:

• Shutdowns or meltdowns before school

• Frequent absences or school refusal

• Exhaustion or distress after the day ends

• A growing sense that “this just isn’t working”

If that’s your reality—you’re not doing anything wrong. It doesn’t mean your child is broken. It means the environment isn’t meeting their needs right now.

🧭 So… Should You Leave Mainstream?

Some people online will say yes—instantly. But I want to offer a more balanced, realistic, and hopeful answer.

Because here’s what we need to acknowledge:

• Homeschooling isn’t accessible to every family. Many parents simply can’t give up work or restructure life around full-time home learning.

• And not every child thrives at home. For some young people—especially those with anxiety, autism, or mood challenges—home-based learning can unintentionally deepen isolation.

In fact, for students already struggling socially or emotionally, staying away from structured environments long-term can increase the risk of becoming reclusive or disconnected from community.

🏫 What Mainstream Can Still Offer—When It Works Well

When a school environment is responsive and inclusive, it can support:

• Social and emotional development

• Opportunities to build peer relationships

• Practice navigating real-world structure and expectations

• Preparation for the kind of adaptability needed in future workplaces

Yes, school is hard for some kids—but it’s also where many learn to negotiate challenges, work in teams, and build emotional resilience—skills that are essential in adulthood.

Even in imperfect settings, being part of a school community can be grounding and protective, especially if we can reduce the pressure and adapt the expectations.

✨ What Might Help Instead of Leaving

Here are a few options that often support re-engagement without giving up on school:

• 🧩 A modified timetable (even 1–2 periods a day to begin with)

• 🧘‍♂️ A safe, quiet arrival routine to reduce stress at drop-off

• 🧠 Access to a calm zone, regulation space or sensory tools

• 🧍‍♀️ Having one consistent, trusted adult as their key support

• 📝 A Student Support Plan that reflects who your child really is

• 🗣️ A behaviour support plan written with compassion and clarity—not punishment

The best part? These aren’t wild or revolutionary changes.They’re realistic, do-able—and I can help advocate for them as your behaviour support practitioner or guidance officer.

💬 What I Say to Parents Who Feel Like They’re Failing

“You’re not failing. The system wasn’t built for every child—and you’re doing everything you can to bridge that gap.”

And I see you.

I see the parents who are working full time while emailing the school after hours.The ones holding their child in tears at 8:15am and wondering, “Is this what every day will be like?”The ones torn between giving up or pushing forward.

If that’s you—you’re already doing the most important thing:You’re showing up. You’re asking questions. You’re trying to do what’s best for your child.

❤️ So… Should You Give Up on Mainstream?

No.

Not without exploring your options.Not without someone by your side who can help decode what’s going wrong—and what might work better.Not without hope.

Because with the right plan, the right voices at the table, and the right support—mainstream schooling can still be a space where your child learns, connects, and belongs.

And for many young people, staying connected to that school environment—even in a flexible or part-time way—lays the foundation for long-term growth, resilience, and future success in a world that’s full of structure, challenges, and diversity.

🔍 How I Can Help

As a Guidance Officer and Behaviour Support Practitioner, I can work with your child’s school to:

• Build a clear, inclusive support plan

• Reduce overwhelm and identify quick wins

• Advocate for adjustments that actually help

• Be your calm voice in those high-stakes meetings

You don’t have to navigate this system alone.